What Do You Mean I Can’t Have A Monkey

I’m surrounded by Girls. Miss Three Dog Blogger is a Girl, the three Dogs are all Girls and the Cat is never here so he doesn’t count.

Even the chickens are Girls. It would be difficult to get eggs from them if they weren’t.

The other day I protested about this to my better half and said I wanted a little male Doggie companion. Nothing too big just a little male buddy. It was a big no no. Three Dogs is more than enough I was informed.

After pondering my dilemma for a while I came up with perfect solution.

A Monkey

Unbelievably this idea was shot down in flames. Go figure. I wanted the reasons why and to be honest they were lame. All this stuff about it not being legal to own monkeys and where would it live, blah, blah, blah. And did I know the price of bananas anyway.

I tried to explain that we live surrounded by trees, miles from the nearest neighbour, with lots of great Monkey-like activities readily available. What more could a Monkey want?

If anyone can tell me where I can buy my little Monkey, and any tips on how to hide it from the good lady then let me know.

Oh, and any tips on how to stop the Dogs trying to eat it would be appreciated as well.

Now, what shall I name my Monkey?

May the Monkey Force be with you all.

3 Responses to “What Do You Mean I Can’t Have A Monkey”

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  1. I guess you where joking, at least I hope so 🙂
    I guess you know enough reasons why you shouldn’t get a monkey from yourself so I’ll give you some reasons why you shouldn’t own (or at least buy) a dog.

    Every year millions of dogs are euthanized in shelters so don’t buy a dog but get them from your local shelter (if you already do this please ignore :))
    How can we own a living creature? Lets give them the basic right of being NOT our property!
    Why take in dogs in your house while you eat meat gotten by horribly abusing and killing animals (maybe in China they eat dogs but we aren’t any nicer to other animals like pigs (who are just as intelligent -or even more- than dogs))

    Go Vegan and re-think the way we treat non-human animals!

    btw I am very curieus how you look at animal rights. Maybe interesting for a blog post?

  2. Three Dog Blogger says:

    Animal rights supporter,

    The post is clear enough about the whole Monkey situation, I mean come on! Humour is pretty obvious to detect don’t you think?

    We always get rescue Dogs. The ownership one is a strange concept. It is difficult to get your head around I think. On one hand I see owning three Dogs as more like looking after Dogs but then on the other hand we DO own them.

    It is hard to verbalise but at the end of the day our Dogs are our property. That is simply the facts when you look at it from a lawful perspective. This does not mean that I view them as simply property but it is quite a philosophical question to try to answer, especially on a humorous post about Monkeys (boy do I want a Monkey though):)

    I was a vegetarian for about 14 years right up until my late twenties. I eat meat now but also consider its provenance and how it was looked after. I have killed chickens after raising them to eat so I don’t consider myself a hypocrite. I can kill what I eat if needed although I did find the whole process quite traumatic.

    I don’t consider it hypocritical to look after Dogs while eating meat. This is simply my nature and many others. Animals keep us grounded and in touch with nature yet it is in our very nature to consume animals as well as derive much pleasure from being in their company.

    What I do know is that if many people realised the way Cows are bred to be skinny yet deliver 100’s of litres a milk a day then they may re-consider where they get their milk from. I know in the UK at least they are trying to phase out this particular way of breeding Cows just for milk and are trying to introduce breeds that are good for meat as well as milk. I know that won’t be of much comfort to you being a Vegan but we simply have to face the realities of the decisions others make.

    I only buy free range chicken and keep my own birds for eggs. Knowing what is natural for them allows me to make better choices when deciding what to buy and what to eat.

    I can’t believe I am writing all this at the bottom of a post about wanting a Monkey!

    Anyway, thanks for your post, all opinions are always welcome. Out of interest what do you see happening to the way animals such as Cows are kept if the world went Vegan. What is the solution? I am sure you have been asked this a million times but would they be phased out and left to their own devices?

    No milking or animal farming would have a huge impact on their populations and it would take many generations before they could survive without the hand of man, becausue of milking, calfing etc. Just interested.

    Man, this post was about wanting a Monkey!!!!

  3. Thanks for your reply.
    I realized the monkey post was a piece of humor but thought it was a good place to ask you how you feel about animal ownership.

    It’s great to hear you where vegetarian for such a long time but sadly you gave up on it. Why not give it a second try? Maybe this time you could go vegan from the start 🙂

    You say animals keep us in touch with nature but I can’t find anything natural in factory farms and mass slaughterhouses.
    Milk actually even brings more missary and torture than only to the cow. Thanks to milk we can buy veal. If we wouldn’t consume milk we wouldn’t find any veal in the shops (or at least it would be extremely expensive). So instead of changing the DNA of cows (we can’t call this natural or even without risk to our own health) we could just stop consumming cow milk and instead use a vegetable milk.

    The myth about free range chickens is a nasty one as well. A lot of the time free range chickens live just as packet as other chickens (of course this will be different for the chickens running in your backyard).

    To answer your question about what would happen with factory animals if the world would go vegan.
    First of all the world won’t go vegan in one day, so factory farms would slowly fase out.
    Clearly the population of farm animals would decline but at the same time more space would come free where sanctuaries could be created. Clearly we would need to take care of them for a long time but I do think they deserve this.
    That their numbers would go down is logical but is this bad? It’s not about quantity but about quality.

    Anyway thanks again for replying, even if this post was about wanting a monkey 🙂

    To end I can only say two words: Go Vegan (I can only try :))